Watching someone be unstable is not fun

I am living with someone who is loving, kind and helpful, except when they are tired, hungry or under pressure. Its not fun and i am trying a variety of approaches to protect myself and others from the experience. Remaining calm in spite of the outbursts, unreasonable behaviour and hurtful things almost seems to make it worse.

The fundamental issues from my perspective are that they seem to

  1. Need to blame someone else for the situation they are in
  2. Cannot see their own contribution to the situation
  3. Fail to see how immature they are being
  4. Be destructive
  5. Unable to calm down

But give it an hour or so and they are back to a lovely person and seemingly contrite about their outburst, but if you try and get them to discuss it and reflect on it in any meaningful sense it causes huge defensiveness and the risk of it going off again, there is always exscuses and reasons, hardest week, hardest day, unusual situation.

My worry is what should I do, it is depressing me, affecting others and I it is affecting someone I love

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